Ok, Chris, this one's for you.....
Yesterday was a quintessential summer day in the Pacific Northwest. Yes, I know it's not summer yet--but it was upwards of 80 degrees, a rarity even in July in these here parts. Not only that, the day had started out sunny, which if often an occurrence reserved for a couple of days in early August.
Our family did what many North-westerners do on such a day--headed to the beach. Of course, since we have a very independent 16-year-old living in our home at the moment, this was accomplished with separate trips. He headed out with a bunch of buddies to skim board, and we headed down separately to give the puppy his first beach experience. In fact, we worked hard to not intrude on our son's adventure, casually noticing that he was there from afar, and keeping our distance and our adventures separate.
On the way to the car, my husband casually remarked, "Did you see the guy with the snake?" I turned around, and indeed, there was a man with a large boa constrictor around his neck standing on the sand. "Who brings their snake to the beach?" I asked judgmentally. It's true; I have judgments about snakes. They're so....reptilian. Slithery. Snakey. Not my kind of pet. In my frame of reference of the world, taking your snake to the beach isn't cool. For heaven's sake, it might get loose and eat a cute little puppy named Zeke for a snack!
When we all arrived home and were enjoying barbecued bratwurst on our deck (another favorite summer activity--you have to pack all the summer activities you can into a day like that--you never know when another one might show up....), we asked our son if he saw the snake. "Yeah!" he said enthusiastically. "It was a nice snake." A nice snake? C'mon, we're not talking fluffy with social skills here. But he went on: "I petted it, and my friend let it lick her hand with its cool snakey tongue. It was ready to come over to her. It was a really nice snake." Suuuurrre, it was getting ready to go over to her--and give her a "nice" little boa constrictor squeeze of affection! Nice snake. Right.
I've been wondering, though, how many things in life are really not as black and white as whether snakes are "nice." Most experiences we have are colored by our frame of reference, which is made up of past experiences, messages we've learned and absorbed about things, our generation, our gender, our upbringing, our geography, our temperaments....Obviously, my son and I have different frames of references around snakes. In his, there's room for a snake to be "nice." In mine, they need to stay off the beach.
Yet (big sigh) God made snakes, too, and it's really quite judgmental of me to assume this wasn't a nice snake. I mean, really, who would bring a mean snake to the beach? Now that would be stupid. So, for logic's sake, it probably was a "nice" snake. Unlike Snakes on a Plane, the one on the beach yesterday apparently wasn't out to kill.
This got me to thinking: what's your "snake"? Is there a person in your life that you just cannot see as nice? Someone you don't want to even give a chance? Maybe they need a chance to be seen another way. I mean, what if someone met me on my worst day--when I was behaving at my worst? That would be their perception of me. If they never gave me another chance, they might think that all I was was a....snake. And not a nice one, either. So, that's my challenge to myself and to you. Think of someone who irritates you and see them another way. Take baby steps, or slithers: Day #1 Snake. Day #2 Nice snake. Day #3 Nice? Together, we can start singing, "All we are saying, is give snakes a chance...." John Lennon would be proud.
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