Diligent Joy Blog

Light of the World

One miracle of Christmas is that Jesus was born, bringing hope, peace, joy and love to a weary world. A further miracle is that, every year, we celebrate this, and create an opportunity for Christ to be reborn in us, bringing hope, peace, joy and love to a weary world.  

One of my favorite church bulletins of all time had a light on the front of it and the words, "You are the message."  And that is the true miracle of Christmas.  Christ is reborn in us, and we are the message--we bring hope, peace, joy and love into a weary world.

Rejoice!  Joy to the World!  Christ is born!  You are the message!  Merry Christmas!

Loving Boundaries

Sometimes, love is a soft, warm blanket.  Other times, it is a strongly built wall, lovingly enforced. Both are required for healthy relationships.  Even God has boundaries.  God's love is unconditional, and we have the 10 commandments.  

Late last night, I insisted my son turn off video games due to an early departure for snowboarding this morning.  He hassled me.  "Just this one thing.  It will only take 10 minutes."  Having heard this countless times before and knowing that "10 minutes" in his time is equal to an unknown amount in my time, I held firm.  He tried a new tact.  "This is a game where people are trying to create a safer community by getting rid of the bad guys."  "Hmm," I  said.  "And how do they get rid of these people? By giving them a fair trial by a jury of their peers?"  He laughed, realizing I was serious about my boundary even in my lighthearted approach.  He did not go to sleep, but ended up reading in bed instead of playing a questionable video game into the wee hours.

Other parents I know have to make much more difficult choices.  I have good friends who are wonderful parents, who love their children to the core, and who have had to say, "You cannot live here if you continue with that behavior."  And they've had to follow through.  This, to me, is a form of love. Love for the child, love for the family unit, love for the parent him or herself.  Embodying divine-like love, they willingly open their arms and homes whenever their children are ready to try again--sticking firmly to their rules, even though it causes them great heartache to do so.

It takes a strong and special love to love a child enough and love a family enough to do this.  God has this kind of love for us.  God loves us enough to let us make all kinds of mistakes and transgressions and still welcome us back whenever we are ready to try again.  

What will help you love yourself enough to set the boundaries you need?  

"Maybe it just needs a little love.'

Last night, my husband and I went for a walk in the snow.  We marveled at the unprecedented snow fall here and the continuing beauty.  With each new storm, novelties are born--beautiful effects caused by Christmas lights and snow, new snow creature creations, snow angels, people out chatting in the streets...It is as if God has rained down peace and love and joy on our neighborhood.  A mandate to slow down, be more mindful of each action we take, spend time with our family and friends who are close by...

I know there are those for whom this weather isn't such a miracle.  Which brings me to.....

Do you remember the Christmas tree in "A Charlie Brown Christmas"?  A scruffy, sad-looking tree with needles falling off--until Linus puts his blanket around it and remarks, "I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love."  The crowd of friends proceeds to decorate it, and it is miraculously transformed into a beautiful specimen of holiday joy. 

Who do you know who is not looking so great these days, and maybe just needs a little love?  A child?  A spouse?  A friend?  A stranger?  Yourself?  What kind of blanket, metaphorically or literally, can you wrap around this person to enable the transforming power of love to flow?  There's a catch--love is unconditional.  There can be no attachment to the result.  Your job is to give or receive the love. Whatever happens, remember, you are loved with a love that passes all understanding.  

Love

As I sit by my computer to right this, my puppy is cuddled on my lap for his morning "lap nap."  Talk about love.....

Love is one of my character strengths.  To explore yours, click here to take the Values in Action survey created by Dr. Marty Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania, one of the foremost researchers of happiness.  You will need to register (free) and they track results anonymously for their research.  There are several surveys available--I recommend starting with Values in Action.  It rank orders 24 character traits in order of their strength in you.

The ability to give and receive love is one of my strengths.  One of the things I love about this strength is that, when I embrace it, it allows me to savor my connections with others and savor moments that are filled with love.

This is the fourth Sunday of Advent, and we begin a shortened week focusing on love.  Christmas Eve, we will celebrate the light that was brought into the world with Jesus' birth.  For the next few days, I challenge you to give thought to who you love.  Do they know?  Tell them.  Share the good news.  As the song says, "Love is something if you give it away, you end up having more." (Magic Penny, by Malvina Reynolds. 

Joy Wrapped Up

A week of focusing on joy has made me more joyful! 

Often, what we focus on becomes predominant in our lives.  Even when we cannot control what comes into our lives, we can take time to decide which aspects to focus on. 

My grandfather, a wise man who lived to be 99 1/2, pointedly remarked during a very sad time in our family, that crisis does not create character, crisis reveals character.  What does your character reveal?  You may not have the power to avert a crisis, but you do have the power to change what you focus on, even in un-joyful times.  Is there a hidden gift?  A learning that will serve you later?  You can grieve and learn at the same time.

Meanwhile, remember that, whatever happens between now and Thursday, Christmas is coming!

Joy to the World!  The Lord is come!  Let earth receive her King!  Let every heart prepare Him room--and heaven and nature sing! 

Remember, this is a Divine sing-a-long.  Will you join heaven and nature in song?

Joy to the Moment

This morning, there are several teenage boys sprawled sleeping on various floors and couches in my house.  The entry way looks like a sporting goods store blew up in my home--snow boots, sleds, various snow pants and coats and hats and gloves strewn on the rug and stairs and banister.  I couldn't be happier.

These adolescents spent the day and evening sledding and snowboarding and building snow creations, including a snow spoiler for my sons' car.  I fed them pizza for dinner and they continued their rendezvous with a video game tournament into the wee hours, buoyed by Red Bull and popcorn and various holiday treats. 

I could be upset or annoyed at the mess, but I am not.  I am joyful for their togetherness, for the wholesomeness of their friendships and activities, for the ability to provide a warm, safe, welcoming place for them.  I am, in Positive Psychology terms, savoring the moment. 

There are always things to pull us away from the present moment, so my question for you today is:

How can you savor some moments today?  Stop, look around, and choose some.  EnJOY.

Joy to the Snow

When it snows in the Seattle area, people go a little crazy.  In a good way, mostly.  Things slow down a bit.  People stay home.  Schools close.  Kids play outside.  Even teenagers abandon their X boxes for sledding opportunities--a rare occurrence around here.  We listen to virtually 24 hour news coverage of the latest "Arctic Blast" and hunker down over hot chocolate, which seems to be a necessity in this weather. 

I know there are those of you for whom snow in winter is a regular and bothersome occurrence, but in the Seattle area, it's a bit of a miracle.  Several atmospheric conditions have to occur in a certain order for the usual rain to become the beautiful blanket of white that is happening today.  My son, who turned 16 today, thinks it's just about the greatest birthday present he's ever gotten--no school AND sledding with buddies AND a mom who took him for a driving lesson in the snow.

Early this morning, I was sitting by the tree, eating my oatmeal and drinking my coffee and enjoying the rarity of seeing the tree against a backdrop of snow outside the window.  I realized I had a few minutes to just be quiet, breathe and reflect, and that I hadn't been doing that lately in the mornings.  Then, I fell asleep.   Oh, joy!  An unexpected gift of a nap by the tree.

Yes, there are things to do still. There are calls to make, blogs to write, articles to compose, dishes to wash, presents to wrap, clutter to clean up--and yet.  Snowstorms like this tend to take me right back to being a child.  It's a snow day!  Fun rules!  Put all unnecessary activity aside and be in the moment.

It's as if God is pouring down forgiveness--covering all the mistakes and ugliness and regrets in a blanket of pure love.  Joy to the snow.  Peace in the heart.  Happy advent.

A Weary World Re-Joy-ces

Last night, we went to the second of two band concerts (our son is in two bands), and heard an instrumental version of "O Holy Night."  This is one of my favorite Christmas songs.  Last year, I became enamored with the line: "And the soul felt its worth."  This year, I've been struck by "A weary world rejoices." 

I thought of the celebrating in the streets after the election, and I thought of how weary I feel personally at moments this time of year.  It's time to rejoice!  Rejoice!  Fill yourself with joy once again!  Joy in the antidote to weariness.  Find your joy!

In what ways are you weary?  Where is your joy?  Find time to contemplate joy today, and notice if there is any change in your weariness.

Joy in Spite of Everything

Last night, I had an unjoyful episode.  For some reason, I got angry about a simple thing, and said unkind things to my family.  I was no where near embracing joy.

Today, I apologized and asked for forgiveness.  I realized that, not only did I need to ask for it, but I needed to be willing to receive it.  This took some preparation, but that's what advent is all about, right?  Preparation?

Due to snow and unusually cold temps here in the Northwest (don't laugh, now, those of you who have real winter every year--it's in the 20's here today....), everything was 2 hours late.  Driving to pick up some teens for carpool, I heard this passage from Luke 2:10-12 in the middle of an Amy Grant song:

    But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all     the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." (NIV).

And so I decided to stop being afraid that my family or God really wouldn't forgive me, or that I had ruined Christmas or our relationships or anything (there's a big drama gene in my family), and to embrace the good and joyful news that a Savior is born.  His love and joy and forgiveness are so much bigger than any stupid things I can say or do.  Oh, Joy!

What do you need to forgive in yourself or others so that you can embrace joy?

Joy

Today is the third Sunday of Advent, marking the beginning of a week of joy.  Oh, joy--Joy!

I LOVE focusing on joy! To think and reflect all week of things that I am joyful about!  What a blessing! 

Today, I am joyful about the small amount of snow that fell last night, encouraging the group of teens at my house to spontaneously make a joyful noise, jump up from their game, and go outside to play light-up Frisbee.  I am joyful for the time I've spent with my family, and for the wonderful friends my sons have.  I am joyful our tree is up and decorated, and I am joyful for a peaceful moment at the end of the day in a dark living room reflecting by its light.

What are you joyful for?