Diligent Joy Blog

STD Awareness Month: Info and Resources

Article link here!

http://www.federalwaymirror.com/opinion/146371785.html

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Here's an article I wrote for Examiner.com re: sexual assault awareness and prevention.  

http://www.examiner.com/sex-education-in-tacoma/sexual-assault-awareness-month

In addition, parents, be sure to watch the short video I've embedded here (it's in the article too) so you can start talking about ALL the things that are important to prevent sexual violence, like:

• gender roles
• gender norms
• healthy relationships
• consent

All these things are a part of healthy, consensual experiences and relationships!

 

Get Yourself Tested! It's National STD Awareness Month!

Let's Talk!

It's "Let's Talk" month, as in let's talk about sexuality, parents!  Here's a cute video with what NOT to say, and how TO answer those unexpected questions:

 

Bullying and Bystanders

October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and there are a lot of materials, programs, and events happening to stop bullying. 

One area that I'd like to call attention to in many bullying situations is the bystander.  Bystanders' actions make a significant difference in the outcome of a bullying situation.

More than one-half the time, bullying stops within 10 seconds of a bystander stepping in to help.(Craig, W. M. & Pepler, D. (1997). Observations of bullying and victimization in the school yard. Canadian Journal of School Psychology, 13(2): 41–60.)

Stepping in isn't always safe or practical, and it's not the only way to help.  Another way bystanders can be useful is to get help--either by gathering peers for support, or reporting the bullying to an adult who will intervene.

Things that do not help are:

• Instigating by teasing or prodding a bully to do something.
• Encouraging the bully by laughing, cheering, or teasing the bully to continue.
• Joining in on the bullying.
• Passively accepting by watching and doing nothing.

Of these, passively accepting is the most common, and contributes to the problem by providing and audience and not doing anything to stop the harmful behavior. http://www.eyesonbullying.org/bystander.html

Talk to your child about how to be a helpful bystander.  Sometimes, a comment will do the trick--reminding someone of the class or school rule, or inviting them to come sit by you.  Other times, that isn't safe for the bystander, and he or she should go get a trusted adult to help. 

Ask your child to think about a time when he or she saw something happening that was hurtful to someone else, either physically or emotionally.  What did s/he do?  Is there something else s/he wished s/he would have done?  Is the situation still going on? If so, what should s/he do now? 

If you are concerned for your or another child's safety, call the school to discuss the situation with the teacher, counselor, or principal.  Though they often will not be able to tell you about specific disciplinary actions taken against another student, they can share general information about policies and procedures, and you can share information that you have to help them keep a watchful eye out and keep our children safe.

Sometimes, this takes courage.  Talk to your child about this, too.  According to the Virtues Project,  "Courage is bravery in the face of fear.  You do the right thing even when it is hard or scary.  When you are courageous, you don't give up. You try new things.  You admit mistakes.  Courage is the strength in your heart."

Be courageous and teach your child to be, too.  There are lots of ways to help stop bullying.  Being a helpful bystander is one.

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Back to School! Guidelines for Parents

Back to School. For many parents, these words fill them with relief. Finally! Back to a routine! Child care worries are lessened. Children will have constructive things to do!

Others are filled with stress and dread. What about my child who doesn’t transition easily? Who had a rough year academically last year? Who struggles with social skills? Who has special needs?

This series of posts is filled with guidelines gleaned from years of experience as a School
Social Worker, Parent Coach, Parent Education Instructor, and as a parent myself. Taking some time to think ahead about the transitions to come, make a plan, and get your resources lined up can make a world of difference when challenges crop us, as they inevitably do.

I encourage you to modify these ideas to fit your family, your child, and your
personal situation. There is no “one way fits all” in parenting, and my hope is that these tips will help this school year be a great one for you and your family!

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Guideline #1:  Sleep is Super Important!

Research shows that sleep is of paramount importance to learning. A recent study by Dr. Avi Sadeh of Tel Aviv University showed that children who got as little as one hour less sleep per night showed a significant loss of learning ability.

In fact, “The performance gap caused by an hour’s difference in sleep was bigger than the normal gap between a fourth-grader and a sixth-grader.…‘A loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to [the loss of] two years of cognitive maturation and development,’ Sadeh explains.” [http://nymag.com/news/features/38951/index1.html]

Another study of high school students showed a dramatic impact on grades: Dr. Kyla Wahlstrom of the University of Minnesota surveyed more than 7,000 high schoolers in Minnesota about their sleep habits and grades. Teens who received A’s averaged about fifteen more minutes sleep than the B students, who in turn averaged eleven more minutes than the C’s, and the C’s had ten more minutes than the D’s….Every fifteen minutes counts. [http://nymag.com/news/features/38951/index1.html]

Next:  How much sleep does your child need?

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Teen Moms Reality (TV) vs Reality (reality)

Thanks to Deals.com for this graphic to depict the difference between celebrity teen moms and the reality of teen motherhood in our country.  Get educated, be safe, be smart!

 

 

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Spring Break Family Stay-Cations

Spring is officially here, and with it comes Spring Break.  For many families, budgets are tight.  If you are hanging around for your child’s spring break and want some adventure and fun, check out these ideas.

Whichever you choose, be sure to involve your family and children (above age 7) in the planning.  Give choices that you can afford and make time for, but remember that having input helps children have more ownership of the activity.  Consider having the child who chose the activity act as a “guide for the day” and point out the cool things the activity has to offer.  Taking time together can be a wonderful way to bond as a family.  Do some planning ahead—is your family one where everyone likes to try new things or likes the comfort of old favorites?  Are you adventurous vacationers or relaxers?  Keep these in mind while planning.

Even if you can’t afford the money or time to fly across the country to a resort or fancy hotel, consider spending one or two nights in a nice hotel nearby.  Some offer stay-cation specials, so be sure to ask.  Pick one with a pool or spa and treat yourself to some fun and relaxation. 

City Pass offers admission to several local city attractions at about half the cost you’d pay for separate admissions.  Passes are good for nine days from the first day you use them.  Plus, you can often skip admission lines, because you’ll already have your ticket.  Check it out!

Plan a family movie marathon.  Check out Film Fun for the Whole Family for ideas of films for the different ages in your house.  Pop some popcorn, make a blanket tent, and chill out.  You might make up a rating sheet with categories on it:  Best actor, Best actress, Most Funny, Most Meaningful, etc.  or simply rate the movies from one to ten after watching.  Talk about what you liked or didn’t like about the movie and why.  What was your favorite part?  Least favorite part?  What kind of alternate ending might you create if you were the director?

Go green! 

• Visit a local nature center. 
• Start a garden in your backyard. Depending on what area you live it and what you’re planting, you may want to start some of your garden varieties inside until it gets warmer at night.
• Go for a hike.  Check out this site for some recommended books with hikes in your area.

Having fun as a family doesn’t have to break the budget.  Put some thought into your these activities, and increase the chances for a fun Spring Break!

 

National Condom Month: Facts and Tips

February is known for Valentines and groundhogs, but did you know it's also National Condom Month? With 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted infections each year in the U.S., no wonder there's a month devoted to condoms-which are one of the most effective ways to prevent the spread of diseases during sexual activity. If you're an adult in the dating scene, be aware that 25%+ of people don't know they have at STI.  One of the fastest growing newly infected HIV groups is women, ages 39-60.  Use a condom every time.

Parents, it's important to know that one in four teens ages 15-19 has a sexually transmitted infection.  If only the sexually active youth are counted, the statistic rises to one in two.  There is much misinformation out there regarding condom use, so be an askable parent.  Be a trustworthy source of information for your teen.  Make sure he or she knows the truth, whether or not he or she is sexually active.  Chances are, your child knows someone who is.  Make sure they know:

• Condoms are free at most public health clinics and Planned Parenthood affiliates
• Condoms are the best way, other than abstinence, to protect against STIs
• Over 30% of youth who have an STI don't know they have it, and unwittingly spread it every time they engage in risky sexual behavior
• STIs can be transmitted through oral and anal sex, as well as vaginal, so use a condom every time
• Condoms can expire, or be compromised under certain conditions--know these tips:

•    Keep them stored at room temperature. That means not keeping them in your car glove compartment. If the condom gets too hot or too cold, the latex can deteriorate-think of an old rubber band. They become easier to break, which is not what you want in a condom.

•  
  • No pressure, please! Wallets are another no-no for storage. The compression of being in a wallet, combined with body heat, also breaks down the latex.

• Need fashionable ways to carry your condoms safely? Check out these resources:
  • Condom compacts (very discreet!) by Just In Case, Inc.
  • Condom key chains by Condom Country
  • Travel bag by Safe Sax

• Use latex condoms, or if you're allergic to latex, polyurethane. Steer clear of sheep-skin condoms, which may protect against pregnancy, but will not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases.

• Socially conscious? Check out the new company Love Begins with L, which distributes a condom to a developing country for every one you purchase in an effort to empower women globally by supporting the right to safer sex.

In February and every other month, remember, if you are sexually active, use a condom every time.

 

ONE DAY FEDERAL WAY!

Hey everyone in or around Federal Way, Washington!  Here is a promo for ONE DAY FEDERAL WAY, our Advancing Leadership Youth Team Project for 2011.  The idea is to get 300 volunteers to come together on Tuesday, Feb. 22 from 10-2 to help spruce up 3 schools in our district in dire need: Mark Twain Elementary, Star Lake Elementary, and Totem Middle School.

We'll be pulling weeds, putting down bark, painting, and planting, so come on by for an hour or all four!

Starbucks is supplying coffee, and Umqua Bank has their ice cream truck reserved!  Can you donate some pizzas?  Or any of these items?

• gloves
• hats
• socks
• underwear (kids sizes)
• bubbles
• sidewalk chalk
• jumpropes
• basketball nets
• tetherballs

If so, contact me through Diligent Joy for more information, or go to www.advancingleadership.org.