Diligent Joy Blog

Digital time-out

At a recent fundraiser, I saw a little boy bugging his mom to bid on the basket I had donated.  Filled with small card games, Farkle, and a couple of pieces of chocolate as a nod to the theme, it sat among other baskets filled with flowers, chocolate, toys, and tea.

"It would be perfect for digital time-out," he said excitedly.  I looked at his mom.  She said, "Digital time-out.  Every Sunday afternoon, we go home and unplug.  No TV, no computer, no hand held or video games.  Digital time-out."

What a smart mom.  What a cool tradition for the entire family.  Here's how to make your own family digital time out:

• Parents play too. Take this time to unplug yourself, as well as your kids.
• Set aside a specific time frame each day and/or week. It might be after a certain time each night, or like this family, one afternoon each week.
• Substitute relationship and tradition-building activities. You could take turns deciding what to do, play board games, plant a garden, read together, bake something, or go on a field trip.  Whatever you do, get any online reserach done before it's time for your time-out.
• See what happens.  Notice if the tussles over electronics lessen over time, now that you have a designated time to do stuff without them. Notice if you are uncomfortable, too, leaving your cell phone off for a few hours.
• Adjust as needed. Maybe you're a family who needs digital time-out some of every day, maybe once a week--or maybe both.  Adjust to your family's needs.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go take a time-out.....

 

 

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Online Sites Safe for Teens about Sexuality

More on safe online sites for sex ed with teens!

http://www.federalwaymirror.com/opinion/137290913.html

Taming the Media Monster

Did you know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends NO TV for children under age 2? (http://www.aap.org/sections/media/toddlerstv.htm)  For elementary age children, the recommendation is no more than two hours per day. http://singleparents.about.com/od/parenting/ss/limitscreentime.htm Here’s why these recommendations exist and how you can implement them in your house.

Why?

According to the Mayo Clinic, too much screen time in children has been linked to:

• obesity
• irregular sleep
• behavioral problems, and
• impaired academic performance

If you are struggling with any of these issues with your child, consider lowering how much time they are spending in time of a screen each day.  Don’t forget to count time they may be spending on video games, the computer, or television at home and at child care.  For more information on how TV affects your child, go here: http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/tv_affects_child.htm

How?

Here are some tips for keeping the screen time down in your house:

• Keep TVs and computers out of bedrooms.  Make sure they are in family areas that are easily observed and supervised.  This way, you can monitor not only how much your children are watching, but also what they are watching.
• Plan the usage.  Decide ahead what shows your child may watch, what sites they may visit, and when they can be on the computer.  Stay away from inappropriately violent or explicit content for young children in all three areas: computer, internet, and video games.  Some video game producers make violence look “fun” or “harmless.” But young children cannot always tell the difference and may inadvertently be learning that hitting doesn’t cause any harm. 
• Use the tools on your TV.  Utilize your parental controls to determine what access children have to which shows and channels on the television and which sites for the internet and computer.  Use the sleep feature on your television so that it turns off after 30 minutes.  Be creative.
• Don’t eat in front of the television.  This creates more mindless eating habits, and takes away from time you can be conversing as a family about your day.
• Set rules for school days. Make sure homework is done first, and non-media play time has a chance before television or the computer.  If your child needs to use the computer for an assignment, monitor their use.
• Suggest other activities.  Good old reading, playing outside, or trying your hand at a board game are all options.  Even if you get rolled eyes or huffy breaths, hang in there and give your child a chance to come up with something else to do.
• Be a good example.  Limit your own use of computer and television, especially when your child is around.  Make use of your time together to talk, play a game, prepare a snack or meal together, or just hang out.

Here are some resources for more ideas about curbing the media monster in your house!

• Limiting Screen Time
• Healthy Habits info from Kids Health
• How to Limit TV time
• How to Limit Video Game usage

 

 

 

 

 

Summer Online Safety Tips

By Amy Johnson, MSW

Personal Parent Coach

School is out for most children and teens, which often means more free time.  How can you help keep your child or teen safe electronically this summer?  Aside from tossing all cell phones and computers, here are some tips.

•    Remind them that nothing in cyberspace is every really private and that you can’t ever “unsend.”
•    Talk to your child and teen about online conversations, information sharing, and texts.  Make sure they know it’s difficult to tell who is really on the other end of these conversations, and that it’s very easy for them to be forwarded without their knowledge.
•    Talk about how it’s virtually impossible to be anonymous electronically
•    Remind them they shouldn’t give in to peer pressure to do anything that makes them uncomfortable, even electronically.  For more information about these issues and about “sexting” (sending sexually suggestive pictures or texts), go to http://www.thenationalcampaign.org.

•    Here are some other helpful sites:

o    http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html.  This site has lots of information about cyber bullying, and guidelines by age of how to help your child or teen be safer online.

o    http://www.athinline.org . This MTV site includes a quiz for preteens and teens to test their safety savvy online.  Encourage or require your child/teen to take the quiz as part of the responsibility they have for the privilege of using the internet or having a cell phone.  Talk about the results together.  

o    http://wiredsafety.org/fbprivacy/index.htm.  This is a step-by-step guide for how to set your privacy settings on facebook to decrease the amount of information shared with outside sites.  Go through it with your child/teen for their site, and for your own if you have one. 

o   http://www.opendns.com/familyshield  This free program allows you to protect every internet-connected device in your home at once--no need to purchase multiple copies of software for multiple computers. 

o    Consider a parental control system for cell phones, such as the one from SMobile (http://www.smparentalcontrols.com/).  For under $30 a year, you can monitor texts, set alerts, and more.

Parents have the responsibility to set appropriate limits for cell phone and computer use.  These are privileges, and require responsibility in order to be extended.  Keep informed, keep cool, and keep your summer safe online.

FREE SPECIAL REPORT:  10 Terrific Tips for a Successful Summer!  To receive, simply sign up for my FREE bimonthly enewsletter for parents! I never sell or give away your information, and you are able to unsubscribe at any time. 

Amy Johnson, MSW,is a Personal Parent Coach who is passionate about working with parents regarding balance, self-care and faith and sexuality. She is co-author of the book, Parenting by Strengths: A Parent's Guide to Challenging Situations.  Amy is also a member of the Best Parent Coaching Directory. Click here to contact Amy.

More on Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month here!

I was over at socyberty--check this out: http://socyberty.com/issues/teen-pregnancy-prevention-month/

National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy--Take the Quiz!

Hey everyone!  Take this quiz and have your teens take this quiz to think about risky sexual situations before they happen!

http://www.stayteen.org/quiz/game.